At some point in 2016 or so, those “rules” became all the rage online. A “this is a glorified version of what I think I am” kind of navel gaze. Never one to skip ego day in the Facebook flex gym class, I wrote mine. They were more popular than Jordan Peterson’s for a while.

  1. Never cancel an appointment, date, meeting, or meetup by text. Call or speak in person with the person you are cancelling on.
  2. Stand by your word. Don’t make excuses, and if there’s a real reason you can not fulfill your word, be clear and open about it.
  3. Exercise daily. Break a sweat.
  4. Volunteer freely and without ulterior motives.
  5. Don’t sleep with friends, exes of friends, or coworkers.
  6. Everyone is being served a shit sandwich at some point. Your value isn’t determined by the number of sandwiches but by how you deal with them.
  7. Don’t speak ill of others. Praise those who deserve it.
  8. If you expect everyone else to get up at seven, be awake by 6:30. In other words: never expect of others what you wouldn’t do better or don’t do better.
  9. Keep learning. Don’t ever rest on your knowledge.
  10. Build bridges and network well.
  11. NEVER wear socks in sandals.
  12. Accept that you are wrong more often than right.
  13. Treat those who provide services to you better than those who don’t. Your server, nurse, mechanic, plumber, or grocery seller keep you fed, alive, and sheltered. They’re the foundation of your needs pyramid and the most important part of your life.
  14. Don’t follow those who talk about their wins. Listen to those who talk about their failures.
  15. Communicate well and often.
  16. Use “we” and “us” more often than “I” and “me.
  17. Be proud of who you are, but never assume you are better than others.
  18. Your opinion matters. So does everyone else’s.
  19. Allow yourself time to relax, you don’t have to wear your mask and be active for or against things at all times.
  20. Love unconditionally.

And, finally, as a limit to #20:

“Forgive and forget” is bullshit. You’re neither Jesus nor do you suffer from Alzheimers.

“Learn and move on” is better. Don’t chase after others. Cut out those who do not align with your needs or understanding of self. Live your own life, go your path, branch off when your paths do no longer align.

Or, more to the point “if it’s not an unconditional yes, it’s a no” is the best policy. If you have to beg, borrow, steal, convince, sell… don’t do it. If you have to endure, have to talk yourself or others into something, it’s not worth it. Either everyone is unconditionally for it, or it’s not the way we do it. Simple as that. Enthusiastic agreement.